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Increasingly over the years, North Korean defectors have cited South Korean television dramas (K-dramas for short) as an impetus for their escape from the Hermit Kingdom. The experiences of ordinary people depicted in K-dramas - romantic, uninhibited, exciting, indulgent - sow the seeds of doubt in North Koreans' minds. Is it possible that the Great Comrade Kim Jong Un has been deliberately misleading us into believing that life beyond the nation's borders is one of deprivation due to capitalism and hostility between foreign powers?
To us, maybe K-dramas are a bit unrealistic, outlandish even. The overbearing, wealthy CEO falls in love with an ordinary, simple small-town girl. Rival high school students reconnect years later and realize they had feelings for each other all along. Rags-to-riches. Family Feuds. But to North Koreans who live under the crushing oppression of the Kim regime which watches their every move, K-dramas' main appeal is the mundane. The scenes where characters go to coffee shops, get promotions at work, grab soju with friends and colleagues are inconceivable to North Koreans. With barely enough food to survive, and hardly any free time in the days packed with labor mobilization, slice-of-life K-dramas are more like fantasy.
Once something is seen, however, it can't be unseen, which is why defectors choose to satisfy their curiosity and escape the Hermit Kingdom. And while reaching South Korea, the place they've only seen on television screens, is a tremendous feat, the resettlement process can be daunting in itself, postponing defectors' plans to fully integrate into South Korean society and experience the beautiful ordinariness they journeyed in search of.
This is the second installment of a three-part email series mapping the expedition of North Korean women from tyranny to liberty, highlighting their impossible resilience at each perilous step in their voyage. We draw from our report, 'Daring to Even Dream of Freedom', which we published earlier this year.
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"A chance to rest, to breathe"...
...Was how Joohui described her time at the Settlement Support Center for North Korean Refugees (Hanawon). Hanawon is the second place defectors find themselves when they enter South Korea, after they have undergone official immigration proceedings. During their three-month-stay at Hanawon, defectors are provided crucial assistance such as therapy and counseling, civics lessons, cultural education, vocational training, technology classes, and more. Women in particular frequently attend courses for jobs such as baristas, accountants, tailors, bakers, and cosmetologists; Joohui remembered particularly enjoying K-pop dance lessons and visiting the homes of South Koreans in cultural excursions. But to this day, there lacks a consensus among defectors about Hanawon, its benefits and detractions.
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"I was physically and mentally completely exhausted"...
...Was one of the obstacles Eunjoo faced in harnessing the full benefits of Hanawon. For her, after spending a year in China during which she remained on high alert to avoid arrest and repatriation, and years before that in North Korea battling starvation, it was almost impossible to internalize new skills and participate in classes at Hanawon when her nerves had yet to even settle; "nothing comes through", she explained. In fact, unlike Joohui, who described Hanawon as a place for rest, Eunjoo wished that she had a period of respite and adjustment before undertaking the intensive agenda at Hanawon: "I just want to rest, at least for a little bit".
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Notwithstanding the diverse opinions and perceptions of Hanawon and the value of skills they learned and relationships they fostered there, many defectors agree that after their term ended without them being fully prepared to be thrust into the fast-paced labyrinth that is South Korea. With just an 8 million won (≈ $5,631) grant to support themselves while searching for sustainable employment, and an assigned “resettlement helper” tasked with helping in the transition process, defectors have underscored the need for long-term aid rather than interim relief. For female defectors in particular, especially those without higher education, Hanawon training courses on tailoring, baking, and cosmetology do not set them up for long-term and well-paying employment.
Despite the advantage of speaking the same language as their new host nation, 12 weeks of lessons at Hanawon often cannot fully erase North Korean accents or instill common vernacular and slang terms which change so quickly. One defector who worked briefly as a telemarketer shared that her "unnatural" accent raised accusations of voice phishing among her customers. Another worker stressed that falling short of distinct and unrealistic South Korean beauty standards (spotless skin, glamorous makeup, perfect facial and body proportions) negatively impacts employment in hospitality and service industries, especially among defectors who are still adjusting to South Korean fashion and makeup trends. Image by Lee Jeong Woo on Flickr (CC BY-SA 4.0)
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"I’m cautious about getting to know regular ordinary South Koreans because I really don’t know them"...
...Was what Jihye identified as the main obstacle she faces in becoming integrated into South Korean society. Jihye, like many other defector women, in particular mothers, bore the responsibilities of earning a living and raising their children, which left little opportunity to socialize beyond their already small networks. This isolation, according to researchers, combined with lingering "attachment to North Korean culture", "ambiguous loss", and pressure to conceal their identity as defectors negatively impacts defector women's mental health.
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Another woman, Eunhye, explained that her "self-esteem was damaged by repeated exclusion in South Korea". In fact, surveys undertaken by Seoul National University's Institute for Peace and Unification Studies reveal that while defectors' self-reported feelings of affinity towards South Koreans have remained steady at 90% in recent years, North Korean respondents have exhibited more intolerant perceptions towards defectors. As of 2024, only 17.5% of surveyed South Koreans viewed defectors as favorable; this is the lowest percentage since the inception of the survey eight years prior. Additionally, 2024 marked the largest gap - a staggering 73% - in responses about mutual friendliness between South Korean nationals and defectors. Demonstrative of this widespread perspective is the fact that South Koreans preferred platonic and surface-level relationships with defectors (i.e., coworkers, neighbors) rather than intimate ones (marriage, friendships), and question the appropriateness or abilities of defectors to hold influential positions.
One particularly interesting finding made by Seoul National University is that South Koreans who recorded feelings of geniality towards defectors were more likely to have interacted with them before. Conversely, and to the same point, respondents who felt animosity towards North Korean refugees were more likely to have never met a defector. On the one hand, this indicates that interaction between the communities play a tremendous role in reducing prejudice and fostering harmony; on the other, it implies that without interaction, negative stereotypes can go unchallenged and the cycle of voluntary segregation.
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"I choose my safety, for once, for myself"...
...Is how Jiyoung lives life in South Korea, "hoping to build a new future". Indeed, despite all of their individual myriad hardships and trauma, one common thread in these women's stories is hope. Hope is what fueled them to work for their own and their families' survival in North Korea. It is what motivated them to make escape plans despite the consequences if they were caught. Hope is what propelled them forward when crossing the frozen Tumen River in the dead of winter to China; it is what stopped them from giving up when life there was a far cry from the security and liberty they were promised. Hope is what inspired them to join forces with other defectors and make the daring final flight to South Korea. And now, hope for prosperity and happiness is what encourages them to overcome the challenges they still face.
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Returning to the women we've highlighted earlier in this report, Eunjoo, who felt burdened by Hanawon's intensive course, has now become a legal citizen and is receiving care for a prolonged health condition. Jihye, who entered South Korea without a college education, has enrolled in online courses. Eunhye, unlike her peers, sought education and connections which she has used to study abroad in the United States. Other defector women, too, have made tremendous strides with hope as their superpower. Sunok, who is a full-time college student and part-time factory employee, wishes to be reconnected in South Korea with her estranged daughter remaining in China. Hyesook and the daughter she had in China reached South Korea and reunited with Hyesook's two older children who had escaped the North years earlier.
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